shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
