I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
