remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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