i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he shaved USA in his pubs
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
