Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
