hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Randomize
