I'm lost and stupid without you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
