I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
