I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
