Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
