we made out on top of his cat.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have feelings that need drinking.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
