grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
