I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
