JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
