I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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