Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
