Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
