dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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