if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
