Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Randomize
