i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
