Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
