We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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