i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
