you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
A+ Viking dick
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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