did you get engaged???
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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