You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Watching her eat just hurts me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
