Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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