Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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