We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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