2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I need to align my fucking chakras
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