I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
