you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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