I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
