how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
