I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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