You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
