Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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