I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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