I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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