Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
