The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
