Your tits are I can't wait for
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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