Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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