Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
