kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
