there's paper in my vomit.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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