dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
