yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You left your phone here
Wait...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
