i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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