you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
